


The Birds and the Bees

by kirinsaga



Series: Powerpoints and Other Embarrassments [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, M/M, Misunderstandings, Sans doesn't actually appear, birds and the bees, but she technically speaks to him, not very Papyrus friendly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:21:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25453051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kirinsaga/pseuds/kirinsaga
Summary: Undyne learns something shocking about the skeleton brothers.
Relationships: Grillby/Sans (Undertale)
Series: Powerpoints and Other Embarrassments [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1923508
Comments: 9
Kudos: 84





	The Birds and the Bees

**Author's Note:**

> After talking to Skerb on twitter about fic writing, I was looking at my folder of unfinished fics and realized that this one could stand on it's own as is. At least, I think so.

Undyne sat at her kitchen table in a daze, staring at the files in front of her. The proof of what she had just learned stared her in the face. She should have known this. It was her job to read the files of every applicant applying in the off season. Both Sans and Papyrus had applied in the off season so she should have KNOWN this.

But she hadn't looked at the date of birth on either. Both were out of stripes and that's all she cared about in regards to that. Papyrus acted like he was barely out of them and Sans like he had been out of them for decades. She had always assumed Sans was a lot older.

But Sans' reaction to her blowing up at him in embarrassment for the conversation she had just had with his brother.

Sans had frowned in confusion. "I'm only 15 minutes older you know. And what's this about birds I was supposed to teach him?"

She had frozen in shock, seeing his honest confusion, and had turned to leave without a word. Sans hadn't tried to stop her.

She had pulled out copies of their files as soon as she got home. And there they were. Identical birth dates.

Papyrus was older than she had thought by a couple of decades, and Sans younger by about the same. Younger than her when she had thought he was far older.

She frowned. She had called Papyrus "barely out of stripes" before and he had never corrected her. Like he had enjoyed being thought of as so young despite that being a part of why she refused to let him join the guard or even be an official sentry. Too young, too naive, too lacking in common sense. Turned out one of those wasn't true. It made her wonder if he was as naive as he acted or if that was an act as well, though with how adamant he was that he belonged in the guard, she wondered at the purpose of it.

Still lacking in common sense though. Which was a large part of why she refused to let him join up. That, and his failure to learn from his mistakes, or even admit that he made any.

Sans, she could see, hadn't wanted to be in the guard and had only applied for the sentry position because Papyrus had made him. It was even what he had written in the "why do you want to be a sentry" section but he had admitted he could use the money.

She frowned, reading over Sans' application. Several entries looked to have been erased and redone several times, but with this being a photocopy she couldn't tell what had been removed. Maybe if she looked at the original. His HP was worryingly left blank, showing signs of erasing, and she wondered how she had overlooked that.

Papyrus' application, on the other hand, was crammed with large writings and everything had been filled. She had almost forgotten how narcissistic his answers had been, and his unasked for essay on how he would improve the guard (by teaching everyone that hugs and smiles will solve all problems and that the guard should ban weapons) ran onto four extra pages. His HP was laughingly large (laughingly because not even Asgore's was that high and it wasn't even possible to have HP that high - she had asked several doctors). Even if she could overlook everything else, lying like that about your HP was a definite deal breaker. Even Sans' blank entry was preferable. It wouldn't have been the first time a low HP monster had left that entry blank. Usually she noticed, however, and made them fix the entry.

But she had gotten distracted. All she had wanted to do was confirm what Sans had told her and she had. And now she had to accept the fact that Sans was younger than she thought, Papyrus was older than she thought, and neither of them seemed to have had any sexual education.

Undyne stared blankly ahead for a few minutes before she remembered Papyrus telling her that Sans was dating Grillby. Her eyes widened. Sans was dating and had no sexual education whatsoever. She stood and yanked her phone out of her pocket, dialing quickly, and as soon as Sans picked up-

"SANS! SEX MAKES BABIES!"


End file.
